As children, we played in our red barn during the day, but at night it took on a scary aura of night sounds, of bats and hauntings. If I had to go into the barn at night, I would take my father by the hand and he would lead me through the darkness. Through this he taught me that if I am with him, I do not have to be afraid of the darkness. In life, the Lord will not have us avoid that which is difficult or scary. He calls us to take Him by the hand and to take other good and holy people by the hand. When we do this, we will find peace and hope in the toughest places and times in life. As we discover the Lord in our red barns, then our life gets more challenging, because then He will ask us to take the hand of those who are suffering and searching and to enter into their red barns of fear and distrust, so that they too will discover His presence and peace
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Monthly Archives: July 2012
The Red Barn
Not for a Million Dollars
This is an extension of the story of the Red Barn. Someone watched as Mother Teresa cared for the poorest of the poor in the squalor of Calcutta, “I wouldn’t do that for a million dollars.” Mother Teresa answered, “Nor would I.” We don’t choose our deepest call out of fun or excitement, but out of a sense of call and mission and because in doing so, we love Jesus Christ
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Who Are You Practicing to Become? Practicing Virtue Leads to Virtue
Practicing Virtue Leads to Virtue: One way to make this point is to take a guitar and play it the regular way. Then reverse the guitar and try to play the same song. You cannot. Why? Because you haven’t practiced. If you live your life in a selfish manner, don’t be surprised when you finally reach a point in which you want to be stronger and better and a good leader, and you cannot, because you haven’t practiced. If you want to become a basketball player you have to practice. If you want to be a surgeon, you must study medicine. If you want to be a saint, you must practice holiness through a relationship with Jesus Christ and in the Church
For Discernment: If you want to find your Vocation and Call, you need to practice seeking God’s will in the smaller choices of life. As you develop habits of living for the Lord—virtues, you will come to a threshold in which the Lord will ask not just for virtuous choices and habits, but for your entire life. If you can’t give the Lord a part of your life, how will you ever give Him all of it?
Scripture: Ephesians 4.17-24: “…Lay aside your former way of life…and acquire a fresh, spiritual way of thinking…”
Quote: “Sow a thought, reap a desire. Sow a desire, reap an action. Sow an action, reap a habit. Sow a habit, reap a character. Sow a character, reap a destiny.”
Who Are You Practicing to Become? J.V. vs. Varsity
J.V. vs. Varsity: If you train at the J.V. level, you will only be able to play at the J.V. level. If you want to play at the Varsity level, then you have to train at the Varsity level. I played J.V. basketball, and we lost every game. So I took up other sports and hobbies. Now when I play basketball, I can never get beyond a J.V. level or worse. Life doesn’t give us options. Life will sooner or later come at us with Varsity force. Those who train at the J.V. level in their moral and discerning lives, will only be able to face life when it comes full force with a J.V. level response. Why do so many people get overwhelmed with life? Why do so many fall into addictive habits of drinking, drugs, and sex? Why do so many simply give up? It doesn’t have to be this way
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J.V. vs. Varsity
As boys in the neighborhood we played basketball—not just ordinary basketball—we made up our own games; played when we wanted; when we didn’t like it one way, we changed the rules and did it another. It was easy, no commitment, the only bad thing is we really never got very good and weren’t able to compete well with others because we just did it our way.
In high school I joined the junior varsity team. Practices were scheduled as a group and they were almost every day. There were all sorts of exercises and endless running. We memorized the plays and strategies until they became second nature. When we put on the uniform for competition there was an excitement, because we knew we were participating in something bigger than just ourselves.
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Why Does God Make Me Wait?
Many young people go on a retreat and feel an awakening to God’s presence in their life, but then comes a desert and times of long waiting. At this point, many give up the quest. They wonder why God doesn’t answer their prayers or continue to give them consolations.
A priest once told this story of Three Hunters. The first hunter paced the woods impatiently and made too much noise. He never was able to see a deer, because he made too much noise. The second hunter found a comfortable spot in the woods and went to sleep. Every couple of hours he would look up and check, but then would go back to sleep. He didn’t shoot a deer, because he wasn’t paying attention. The third hunter found a spot where he saw some tracks and then spent the day paying total attention to his surroundings. In spite of the cold and rain.
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Dating and Prayer Part 1
Often in a classroom situation young people will ask for advice on dating, I will say to them that as a priest that I have one very important principle to keep in mind besides all the other important steps in friendship and love. I answer, “If you cannot pray together as a couple, then don’t ever get into a serious relationship with one another.”
Scripture: Matthew 19.4-6: God is the author of marriage and therefore no one is to separate what God has joined together.
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Dating and Prayer Part 2
If you do not know how to pray with one another, then how can you discern together if the Lord is calling you to marry this person or someone else in the Sacrament of Marriage or to be a dedicated single person or to be a priest or to enter consecrated life? Can you imagine someone about to be ordained a priest who doesn’t pray? This would be a contradiction. How can a man prepare for the Sacrament of Holy Orders and not do so in through a life of prayer? Impossible. But doesn’t the same go for the Sacrament of Marriage? How many couples pray together on a regular basis? How do they pray together? The best couples I know today begin with the foundation in prayer. Do you pray alone or together? Why is it important to learn how to pray as a couple and later as a family? See Appendix 8 for more on dating and the importance of prayer for discernment.
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Dating and Prayer
Choose your date: As young men consider the possibility of priesthood, many will find themselves in a dating situation and are looking for help as to how to listen for the Lord. My first advice is that if the young man wants to discern priesthood, then he cannot date, because you cannot “date” two women at the same time, i.e, both the girl and the priesthood. He must make a choice of which one to discern—priesthood or marriage.
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Discerning priesthood while dating: If the young man doesn’t feel ready to discern a call to priesthood and is already in a dating situation, then I challenge him to discern the possibility of marriage, but to do so with a listening and discerning heart. This means that both the young man and woman need to be honest about their joint search to discern God’s call for them. He has to be willing to share with her his openness to go wherever the Lord is calling and to ask her help to discern together. This kind of honesty, when brought into prayer, opens the door for the grace of God to work. If the Lord is calling the young man to marriage, they will come to a peace about this through their prayer and growth in love. If he is called to be a priest, then there will develop a restlessness and a sense that a change needs to take place in their relationship. Almost every year a young man will share how he feels led to stop dating because he/they discerned the call to priesthood.
Write a letter to your future spouse: There are single young people who also write a letter to the Lord and to their future spouse and renew this letter and promise every year until they meet the person God is calling them to marry. Each letter will begin with “Dear Lord, and to my future spouse…In this letter I hope to say someday to you, that I prayed for you before I knew you…I loved you before I knew you… and I was faithful to you before I knew you.” The letter goes on to share what the person has learned about love and life and faith during that year. Each year brings a new letter. Once the couple is preparing for marriage, the person writing the letter will share these letters at the “right” time. I have had a growing number of people through the years who write these letters. How would you respond if your partner did this for you?
Keep the Lord included in your relationship: The greatest sadness today is that so many young people are opting out of Marriage and choose cohabitation. When they do this, they can no longer discern their Call as the Lord is no longer the guiding presence in the relationship. It is only within a chaste relationship of dating and a mutual prayer life, that a couple can truly discern God’s Call.
Advice on dating: Often in a classroom situation young people will ask for advice on dating, I will say to them that as a priest that I have one very important principle to keep in mind besides all the other important steps in friendship and love. I answer, “If you cannot pray together as a couple, then don’t ever get into a serious relationship with one another.” If you do not know how to pray with one another, then how can you discern together if the Lord is calling you to marriage or to something else? Can you imagine someone about to be ordained a priest who doesn’t pray? This would be a contradiction. How can a man prepare for the Sacrament of Holy Orders and not do so in through a life of prayer? Impossible. But doesn’t the same go for the Sacrament of Marriage? How many couples pray together on a regular basis? How do they pray together. The best couples I know today begin with the foundation in prayer. Do you pray alone or together? Why is it important to learn how to pray as a couple and later as a family?